NOTE: This press release was issued on April 1, 2012. April 1. Think about it. ;)
Today starts a new month and a fresh beginning for Drupal. After many discussions over many drinks at DrupalCon Denver, we’re proud to announce a strategic inflection point for the Drupal community. As of today, the following companies will be merging into one company - a new formidable force in the Drupal community:
- Phase2 Technology (formerly merged with Treehouse)
- Chapter Three
- Four Kitchens
- The Fifth Element
- ImageX Media
- Gorton Studios
- Aten Design Group
- Advantage Labs
These 13-ish independent companies will be joining forces to form a new paradigm-shifting meta-company: Bluemarine Synergistics. Employing over 850 individuals spread out across eight continents, the company’s name combines the popular and much-loved Drupal theme with the word “synergistic,” implying strategic partnership, enterprise-empowered logistics, and e-business efficiencies.
Finally, Drupal will have a single dominant company for enterprise customers to be their long term partner. By combining so many Drupal companies into a scalable, virtualized talent cloud, we can make it easier for customers to find us – they won’t need to shop around. And we can have a single, unified, sponsorship presence at DrupalCon and Drupal camps. It’s not only good for Drupal, it’s good for the Drupal community! Just think of the parties a company of this size can throw. It will be a lot of free beer – free, as in free beer.
With estimated combined revenues of $1.21 billion, Bluemarine Synergistics will be expanding over the coming year, hiring a 200-person sales force to create a giant “Drupal tuna net” to capture companies in new verticals such as cosmetics, agriculture, Amish social organizations, multilevel marketing, “waste management,” adult entertainment, online file transfer services, and even the hunting and fishing industries. It turns out that there are many companies, even entire industries, not yet using Drupal. For instance, the aging baby boomer population represents a huge market not yet tapped by Drupal. Bluemarine Synergistics will attack the baby boomers.
“We believe that there’s a great deal of money to be made here,” said former Lullabot CEO Jeff Robbins. “It turns out that everyone wants a website. Drupal makes websites! Bluemarine Synergistics can make your website for you, even if you’re old or Amish or whatever.”
“It’s amazing how quickly it all came together,” exclaimed Ben Finklea, former CEO of Volacci who will hold the title of Social Media Intern for the combined company. “Almost all 13 or whatever CEOs happened to be at Rock Bottom Brewery one night during Drupalcon Denver. We started doing tequila shots and yada, yada, yada – we merged! My title has changed but my job is basically the same as it always was.”
“Twice in one month... WE LOVE MERGING!” said Michael Caccavano, former President of Phase2, former CEO of Treehouse.
“Mergers are our way of showing we care about each other. We could just hang out at DrupalCon twice a year, but this way we are together all the time.” said former Phase2 Technology CEO, Jeff Walpole.
“This company has a lot of promise. It has a bright future, but I’m also proud that we’re looking back and rediscovering some of the best elements of our past. We always felt removing Bluemarine from core was a step backwards. It’s just so affirming to be a part of this giant leap forward,” said former Gorton Studios CEO Drew Gorton.
Glenn Hilton, the former CEO of ImageX Media added, "It's a great move for ImageX. All the clients we lost to our competitors, we've now gained back."
“We used to lose sleep at night, praying that potential clients would fax us their Drupal project RFPs. Now, with our powers combined, none of us will ever go hungry again!” – Aaron Stanush, former partner at Four Kitchens and newly appointed Strategy Strategist at Bluemarine Synergistics.
“Originally, our promise to the Drupal community was that we would exclusively focus on professional services. In only a couple weeks’ time, we realized that customers would appreciate a comprehensive offering that includes infrastructure. Pantheon is proud to consider itself a cornerstone in fulfilling the Bluemarine Synergistics promise. Can you put ‘cornerstone’ in italics for the press release? Thanks.” – David Strauss, former CTO at Pantheon Systems.
"All of the former Aten Design Group team members are ecstatic about becoming a part of Bluemarine Synergistics. The BS product line is so bleeding-edge. Who can say no to the 24-hour-a-day website package? Just think about it – websites, any time of the day." – Jon Clark, former Business Development Director at Aten Design Group, now Assistant to the Director of Execution, BS Products Division.
Bluemarine Synergistics finally solves the “coopetition” problem once and for all. We’re all friends. We’re all working on the same software. Why do we need to compete for employees? Why do we need to compete for clients? Heck, why do we all need to decide what to charge? Think of all the good we can do if we just band together! One big company running Drupal for the good of everyone – that’s Bluemarine
Company headquarters are currently being built on property located approximately two miles west of New Amsterdam, Indiana – the geographic center of all the previous headquarters when weighted by employees, revenue, and contributions to Drupal core.
Please share your excitement about Bluemarine Synergistics on your favorite social media outlets. Use the hashtag #bs4drupal because Bluemarine Synergistics is B.S.
For more information, please visit http://bluemarinesynergistics.com/.
This is a funny April Fools joke!!!